Sets of 4 words that strike fear into Paul…
It doesn’t take much to make a grown man uneasy. In Paul’s case, it’s not horror films, tax returns, or rogue sheep on the road. No, his moments of sheer dread come from four innocent-sounding phrases, uttered with enthusiasm and just a hint of mischief.
“I’ve Been Thinking About…”
A classic opener. A harmless phrase to most, but in our household, it’s the prelude to change. Sometimes it’s a small idea—moving the sofa, rejigging a room. Other times, it’s a ‘what if’ moment that spirals into a full-blown project.
“I’ve been thinking about how nice it would be to have an outdoor shower near the sauna.”
Cue Paul, staring at me, calculating the logistics, materials, and—most importantly—his own survival.
“I’ve Had an Idea…”
Another favourite of mine, usually followed by a slow, measured exhale from Paul. Ideas are wonderful, but they often mean work, and not always the kind of work he planned on doing.
“I’ve had an idea… What if we made all our own toiletries for the cabin?”
This was, of course, met with silence and the look of a man trying to decide if this was a fleeting thought or a fully formed plan with labels already designed. (Spoiler: of course the labels are already designed.)
“How About We Do…”
This one suggests movement. Immediate, get-your-boots-on, no-time-like-the-present movement.
“How about we do a little drive to collect a reclaimed door I found?”
I say ‘drive’—Paul knows it probably involves three counties or a large detour on his way home, a precarious balancing act in the van, and a moment where we both pretend it’ll definitely fit through the cabin doorway.
“Let’s Go and Look…”
This one makes him the most nervous of all. Because ‘looking’ is never just looking.
“Let’s go and look at a horse / new ewe / barn – take your pick…”
That ‘look’ cost us a new family member last time. It’s a phrase that inevitably leads to carrying something home—whether it’s furniture, livestock, or an old grandfather clock that may or may not become a cocktail cabinet.
So there you have it—four little phrases that make Paul’s life significantly more unpredictable. But let’s be honest, he wouldn’t have it any other way (or so I tell him). Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve just had an idea… Although nothing will ever compare to 6 hens and a grandfather clock… perhaps